This Is My Agoraphobia

So, my agoraphobia started about 18 years ago.  Yup...pretty much housebound for all this time and yes, it sux!  Started getting panic attacks when I was 13...drs called it "growing pains"...assholes!  Four years later there was a name for what I had...panic attacks.  Doctors gave me alot of drugs (tranqs.) like xanax, ativan and the such.  So I was really tired all the time but didn't improve my attacks.  By the time I was 16 I had to drop out of high school.  I was just too scared to go to school....the beginning of my "avoidance behavior".  As I got older, I started avoiding more and more places, places where I had a panic attack.  By the time I was in my late 30s I had run out of places to avoid.  Despite the many different doctors, shrinks and meds, I still was unable to overcome my fear of another panic attack. 

I got so bad that I was even afraid to sleep in my own bedroom, wouldn't go 10 yards to my mailbox and only bathed twice a week.  Tough life seeing how I was a single parent.  I was fortunate to have my mother who lived not far from me to help with my daughter's needs and my own as well, such as grocery shopping and any other chore that needed to be done outside the home. 

Today, I take effexor (150 mg) which has let me get out alittle...still won't venture more then about 3 miles from my home, but that's a big improvement from where I was 18 years ago.  I must say that it took the meds a good 3 months before I noticed a change in how I felt when I tried to go outside.  In addition to the meds, my daughter got me a dog.  This dog has made a HUGE difference in my ability to go out.

I am a animal lover and I bonded with this dog and put his needs before my own.  He needed to go for walks, to socialize with people, places and other animals.  So, I slowly took him out for walks in the yard and went alittle further everyday.  I can't stress enough how much this has helped me!!  Me and my dog are bound together inside and outside the house.  More service dog trainers need to look into the tremendous benefit a service dog would be to an agoraphobic.  I'll rant another day about the dire need of service dogs for agoraphobics.

I will close this post with my current standing....I'm 44 years old, I live with my 23 year old daughter, on a good day I can go as far as 10 miles from my home, I'm still on meds and depend greatly on my dog.