So haven't really been doing too much lately. Been doing so wood carving, but I goofed big time!! I noticed my tools were pretty dull and so I tried to sharpen them myself. Bad, bad idea! I used my dremel which apparently is like trying to sharpen them by through them against a brick wall. So, they are duller then I started out with and completely useless to me now. We didn't I just call my dad and ask him before I did it? Was it my pride, independence? No, it was simply lazy, stupidity.
Fortunately, dad will rescue me from myself and even try to fix the wrong I've done. Assuming I have not completely destroyed my tools, he is going to send me a Lansky sharpener. He has not ever used it by says he knows people who swear by the sharpener. I watched a video online on how to use the Lansky sharpener and it seems to be idiot-proof. Which means there is a slight chance I'll be able to figure it out.
Now don't think I'm putting myself down or being to hard on myself. I consider myself lucky that I'm able to laugh at myself and recognize my faults and mistakes and hopefully learn from them. Although I must admit sometimes I make the same mistake more then once, but I do eventually figure it out. So, this may be a costly mistake if I did in fact ruin my tools as I attempted to sharpen almost all of them. I reckon my chisels will survive my blunder but I'm not so sure about my knife set. I can barely afford my medication every month so I can ill afford a new knife set. I am very disappointed to say the least.
Anyway, my little slice of haven here in NC was spared the awful twisters that devastated other parts of this beautiful state. While I was outside cooking on the grill, other parts of NC, some as close as ten minutes from me, were getting completely destroyed by tornados, ripping apart homes and killing people. I'm very sadden by this and so wish I could help those who were hurt by the storms. I seriously doubt we will see any telethons trying raise money for those who lost so very much. Although I must say Red Cross and FEMA were on the scene immediately to start helping folks. You never give much thought (donations) to those organizations until you need...depend on them. I for one will donate whatever I can spare because I am certainly guilty hearing their pleas for donations but not listening to them. Shame on me. I don't say that lightly, I truly feel terrible that I've not made any donation to such organizations that are such life savers to so many people.
Well, enough of my pity bambling, I'm off to finish my house chores. Although I much rather be carving!!
Monday, April 18, 2011
Saturday, April 2, 2011
Nothing So Boring As Agoraphobia
Keeping track of my daily activities, I find that my live is really quite boring. I read ALOT, watch very little T.V., I play with my dogs and take them outside to romp around the yard and I eat. I spend the least amount of time eating and watching T.V. and most of the time reading and playing with my dogs.
So, how to add alittle heart racing activity into my life? NOOO!!! Don't say it!!!! I must... I should be challenging my "safe zone". Get out and try facing my fear! Practice my slow, controlled breathing. That's what I should be doing and there is not one reason for not doing these things!!! No excuse for not making it a daily practice to go out alittle further everyday. Make the brain learn the difference between fake fear and the real thing. It will only learn this through constant exposure to the fake fear. No magic pill is going to make the brain learn this, only I can teach my brain to see the fears that are fake.
Sure, there are drugs that can help calm the brain a bit during these lessons but ultimately the brain must experience the fear and recognize that it's nothing but an illusion, misinterpretation of reality. Whether the fear was learned as a child or through some terrible experience, the brain must be made to realize that there is actually little to fear in the daily life of the average person. Sure there are dangers in the world but those are probably not the dangers the brain is worried about with agoraphobics.
My biggest enemy is my "fight or flight response system". It's my nemesis, it taunts me. The fight or flight response which is there to protect me from danger has turned against me. It perceives me as the danger, my mind, my thoughts are what is dangerous to me. Sure my fight or flight response works when say I'm faced with perhaps a mean stray dog, turns on the adrenaline, but it's not the all out fight or flight response I get when simply trying to go to the store.
People without a true phobia simply can not understand or appreciate the level of fear experienced by phobics or the difficulty in teaching the natural human response, the fight or flight system to work the way it should, for us not against us. They can't appreciate something they can't see...it's not a heart or lung, an organ that can be held and dissected. Yeah, you can dissect the brain but there won't be a fight or flight system they can grasp onto and see the abnormality.
Anyway, how do I fight against a natural human response that has developed throughout the history of human life? How do I teach it to work for me instead of against me? Guess it goes back to teaching the brain to recognize fake fears.
So, how to add alittle heart racing activity into my life? NOOO!!! Don't say it!!!! I must... I should be challenging my "safe zone". Get out and try facing my fear! Practice my slow, controlled breathing. That's what I should be doing and there is not one reason for not doing these things!!! No excuse for not making it a daily practice to go out alittle further everyday. Make the brain learn the difference between fake fear and the real thing. It will only learn this through constant exposure to the fake fear. No magic pill is going to make the brain learn this, only I can teach my brain to see the fears that are fake.
Sure, there are drugs that can help calm the brain a bit during these lessons but ultimately the brain must experience the fear and recognize that it's nothing but an illusion, misinterpretation of reality. Whether the fear was learned as a child or through some terrible experience, the brain must be made to realize that there is actually little to fear in the daily life of the average person. Sure there are dangers in the world but those are probably not the dangers the brain is worried about with agoraphobics.
My biggest enemy is my "fight or flight response system". It's my nemesis, it taunts me. The fight or flight response which is there to protect me from danger has turned against me. It perceives me as the danger, my mind, my thoughts are what is dangerous to me. Sure my fight or flight response works when say I'm faced with perhaps a mean stray dog, turns on the adrenaline, but it's not the all out fight or flight response I get when simply trying to go to the store.
People without a true phobia simply can not understand or appreciate the level of fear experienced by phobics or the difficulty in teaching the natural human response, the fight or flight system to work the way it should, for us not against us. They can't appreciate something they can't see...it's not a heart or lung, an organ that can be held and dissected. Yeah, you can dissect the brain but there won't be a fight or flight system they can grasp onto and see the abnormality.
Anyway, how do I fight against a natural human response that has developed throughout the history of human life? How do I teach it to work for me instead of against me? Guess it goes back to teaching the brain to recognize fake fears.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)